DAY 30: '...but you couldn't pronounce that, so we called it a hamburger.'

Following the escapades of the night before, we all woke up a bit more tired than usual. JJ and I had held our own, and were not hungover, unlike our gracious host. After a breakfast of rolls and scrambled eggs, Sandra, JJ, and I headed into the town to pick up the car and go on a sightseeing tour. Everything was fine until we got on the bus, which was like an oven on wheels—and the only available seats were above the heater. None of the windows were open and there was a strange feeling in the bus, which decided to manifest itself in extreme stomach pains and nausea for all three of us... and no, we weren't hung over—Sandra felt sick from it as well and she hadn't had any drinks the night before. Regardless, the walk to the car from the bus stop was a welcomed breath of air and we looked forward to the open top tour bus.

The bus tour started at the main rail station in Hamburg, which was built over 150 years ago and is one of the largest in Germany—quite appropriate for the country's second largest city. The first leg of the tour to the harbour was through the area we had explored the day before, but this time we got a bit of historical background. The town hall (an extremely beautiful building) has a plaza in front that was modelled after the San Marco plaza in Venice, a nearby church that we thought was just your average church was actually the 14th century St. Nikolai Kirche, and the tower that reminded us of the buildings in Edinburgh was never intentionally built to look black and ominous—it was formerly a church that the Americans bombed in World War II and all that remained standing was the tower, now seen as a memorial of what war does to a country. The guide, who refused to translate much of what he was saying (even though he could have) left that job for Sandra, but when he did speak in English, it was often tinged with sardonic bitterness, presumably at our American origins and our stay in England (he was unimpressed to say the least).

Upon reaching the harbour, we learned that the harbour is over 830 years old and functions as one of the largest ports in Europe, tenth largest in the world. JJ and I had never realised that Hamburg played such an important role in the European economy! There is an annual celebration of the harbour's birthday, and upon boasting its age, the guide turned to us and said (with the mic still on) 'At that point in time, in America you had nothing. And WE had a harbour.' Good for you sir, but he clearly never studied American history—the Native Americans were well established to start with, and secondly, JJ and I have discussed (many times) how white Americans are all of European descent, regardless of whether or not Europeans acknowledge that point...so, we didn't really find it as insulting as he tried to make it. The slander continued for the rest of the trip, which took us around many of the newer areas of Hamburg, including Europe's most expensive apartment complex, the area of town where the Beatles began their career, and the wealthy residencies that border the Alster, a picturesque lake in the center of the city.

The original plan had been to get off at the harbour and take a tour by boat as well, but at this point we were getting a bit sleepy from the bus ride and we decided to drive to the harbour and get some coffee instead. The view from the waterfront cafe was spectacular and the harbour was really neat in that it is still a functioning harbour and the barges and large boats passing through would leave massive wakes that rocked the cafe.

The view of the harbour from the cafe

A few hours later, we headed back to the house to revitalise before Hendrik's birthday party—but our revitalisation didn't work out as well as planned, since I just sat around eating haribo and JJ wrote yesterday's blog. Around 7:30, guests began arriving and we decided it was probably best to join the group in the backyard and MY GOSH it was COLD! We should have never jumped from Italy to northern Germany...

As is appropriate, dinner consisted of sausages and steaks, accompanied by bread, potato salad, and pasta salad, along with 5 crates of beer and an assortment of other beverages. We opted to find a casual seat near the door of the enclosed patio and enjoyed the meal, but had limited interactions with the other guests, who didn't really speak English (until they were a few drinks in...amazing how that works). Around 10:45, we headed back in to the house to warm up, and next thing I know, I'm asleep.

That's not the end. I woke up a while later to two Germans sitting on the edge of the couch I have been using for a bed, staring at me wondering why I was asleep. Only one of them really spoke any English, and the general consensus was that all of the guests wanted to know where the Americans had ended up and why we weren't at the party. Following a poor string of excuses, their conclusion was 'Oh, so... you don't know how to party.' Long story short, challenge accepted.

Upon returning to the party outside, JJ and I were welcomed by a more fluently English group who had managed to finish off all of the beer and much of the other drinks as well. Neither of us were particularly keen on having drinks, especially since we don't drink soda and the beverage being thrust at us was whiskey and coke. The boys who had woken me up were thoroughly pleased with their success, and proceeded to tell me that in order to get the 'full German experience', I needed to drink as they do—'You have two hands, you have two drinks.'

Ok fine, I'll hold two drinks but I certainly wasn't going to finish them. The boys were especially pleased when I had been singled out by one of their friends, who didn't speak any English (at the time) and enlisted the help of a short woman, who facilitated a very, very awkward conversation that culminated in me dancing with the very drunk plumber/firefighter, who talked in circles about driving the fire brigade car, having to work as a plumber for his father's company, and not speaking English. JJ, loving the situation from across the party, carried on a casual conversation with other guests who wanted to know why Americans can't speak any other languages...seems to be a common question in every country we visit. After much convincing, JJ and I managed to escape to our beds around 1:30 in the morning...